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Literature
Can I be Forgiven?
Please,
Strip this position
Away from me.
I don’t deserve to be a member of this team.
Don’t trust me to win for you;
I won’t.
I can’t.
Stuck in stagnation
And isolated in this moving crowd once again,
This rock, or bomb, or maybe flower
Brews within me.
Even if I deny that fear and say
“I’m alright,”
It’d never be healed, this old would,
And
I
Hate
It.
Yet I can’t do anything, powerless as I am.
The poison is still dormant in the blood,
And it’d activate again, killing me
On the inside everytime.
Apologize.
Apologize?
Respond.
Respond?
Can I be forgiven
For something I didn’t do?
Can I be forgiven
For never acting correctly?
Though I’m in no position to ask this,
But
Can I be forgiven
For being useless?
:iconDusk-Kniade:Dusk-Kniade
:icondusk-kniade:Dusk-Kniade 0 0
Literature
Living In Disappointment
It’s unexplainable, this feeling.
Because of me, the whole game
Goes down in flames.
They’re yelling, frowning, and staring,
And the worst of it:
All blades point to me.
It’s not the feeling of loneliness that’s sick,
It’s the sight of everyone out in the open,
And me stuck in this field of solitude
That causes me to panic.
The pain of disappointing everyone
Renders me numb and frozen.
Screaming or bleeding
Would be embarrassing.
This.
This
Is the true face of the nauseous field effect.
:iconDusk-Kniade:Dusk-Kniade
:icondusk-kniade:Dusk-Kniade 0 0
Tsuji Expressions by Dusk-Kniade Tsuji Expressions :icondusk-kniade:Dusk-Kniade 4 0 Terror 4th Anniversary by Dusk-Kniade Terror 4th Anniversary :icondusk-kniade:Dusk-Kniade 4 0
Literature
Inhuman Results [TanaE]
    Tanaka stared at his white-haired friend up and down, perplexed at the sitting boy’s outfit. His smooth black ears twitched in curiosity but also confusion. It wasn’t to say that his own clothes were all that normal—gakuran top with jumpsuit tied around the waist? However, it was hard to deny that the short boy’s clothing combo was...out of the ordinary. He stretched his arms, which were sore from staying in the same position on his couch, and then scratched an itch behind his ear. How should he word this in a non-awkward way?
    “Oi E,” he said with his low, calm voice, and turned his face slightly to the right. The short boy moved his head and accidently grazed his elongated metalic “horn” against Tanaka’s ear, earning a whimper from the taller male. At this response, E muttered a quick sorry as he shifted away from him.
    “What?”
    “Is tha
:iconDusk-Kniade:Dusk-Kniade
:icondusk-kniade:Dusk-Kniade 1 0
Heart Speaker by Dusk-Kniade Heart Speaker :icondusk-kniade:Dusk-Kniade 3 4 Dusk Kniade by Dusk-Kniade Dusk Kniade :icondusk-kniade:Dusk-Kniade 3 7 Taru Cry by Dusk-Kniade Taru Cry :icondusk-kniade:Dusk-Kniade 1 0 Waiting for the Last Train by Dusk-Kniade Waiting for the Last Train :icondusk-kniade:Dusk-Kniade 5 2 Illuminated by Dusk-Kniade Illuminated :icondusk-kniade:Dusk-Kniade 1 0
Literature
Dystopian Mentality
That’s the neutral grey…
And that’s the dark-grey…
This one’s silver…
Oh, this one’s pale-grey!
Now I understand the values of this world!
What a good life I have.
What a smart mind I have.
Now I understand the purpose of existence!
But as you introduce me to this “hue,”
I fall into deep confusion.
This can’t be right…
What do you mean “this is a colour?”
You made it up! It’s all in your head!
“It’ll make your life better…”
But my life’s perfect
As I recite the values everyday!
“Have you not heard of the blood-red that makes people nauseous?”
I know that blood is a dark value, that’s all.
“Have you not heard of pumpkin-orange, which brings to mind the spice of autumn?”
I know that leaves turn into a different value, that’s all.
“Have you not heard of the mango-yellow that reminds people of the summer heat and sun?”
I know that
:iconDusk-Kniade:Dusk-Kniade
:icondusk-kniade:Dusk-Kniade 1 0
Literature
Blazing and Breathless
I beg of you…
Just….
Let me breathe…
Properly…
Is it satisfying
To see the world swimming and swirling
Before your eyes?
Is it satisfying
To feel a worm of fire
Biting in your throat?
Is it…
Is it satisfying
To…
“Help… me…”
Is it satisfying…
To… Have…
Countless pins… burning
Beneath… and within…
Your… feet…?
Is it satisfying…
To have… To have…
The energy…
Sucked out of…
Your legs…?
Is it satisfying…
To… To have…
Your life stripped away…
And… flashing before your eyes…?
Is it satisfying…
To give up the… price…
Of your existence…
Just to get a place…
In
This
Race?
If you hang your head low
And feel the attack
Creeping up,
Then should you do this at all?
Should you give it your all?
And…
Do you like…
Do you truly like…
The nausea spreading
Ever
:iconDusk-Kniade:Dusk-Kniade
:icondusk-kniade:Dusk-Kniade 0 0
Ippo.tsk Graffiti by Dusk-Kniade Ippo.tsk Graffiti :icondusk-kniade:Dusk-Kniade 0 0
Literature
Unconscious Heart
Right.
Living with an emptiness in my heart.
Not sadness,
Not frustration,
Just feeling nothing.
What is there to do?
Huh?
:iconDusk-Kniade:Dusk-Kniade
:icondusk-kniade:Dusk-Kniade 1 0
Literature
Brainwashed and Emptied
I
Have forgotten who I
Used to be,
I
Can’t recall
The precious memories.
The eyes close
And the conscious slips away,
Leaving the body here,
Only half alive.
It’s unknown whether dreams still exist
Or if they’re shattered
Or supported artificially.
In any case,
What is there to do?
Let me live with a brain
That’s not connected to a dome or wires.
In any case,
What is there to live for?
Let me live with a corpse
That’s not locked onto furnitures.
Please don’t fight in this room;
But don’t worry,
I’m unable to do
Anything.
This can’t be human behaviour.
:iconDusk-Kniade:Dusk-Kniade
:icondusk-kniade:Dusk-Kniade 1 8
Handicap X Tokyo Teddy Bear by Dusk-Kniade Handicap X Tokyo Teddy Bear :icondusk-kniade:Dusk-Kniade 5 2

Favourites

TKRB:: A Sword and Flowers by Rinnacchi TKRB:: A Sword and Flowers :iconrinnacchi:Rinnacchi 6 0 yamaguchi by hanayanaa yamaguchi :iconhanayanaa:hanayanaa 5 1 Cute Omega Flowey by LastOneStandin Cute Omega Flowey :iconlastonestandin:LastOneStandin 93 43 [Commission] Smol + Sprinkles by Niko-HB [Commission] Smol + Sprinkles :iconniko-hb:Niko-HB 100 7 Ryuu En II by ReiyuuSama Ryuu En II :iconreiyuusama:ReiyuuSama 81 8 Sketch#205 Crimson Kara II by ReiyuuSama Sketch#205 Crimson Kara II :iconreiyuusama:ReiyuuSama 55 14 More Baldi Fanart cause I'm trash by Jolibe More Baldi Fanart cause I'm trash :iconjolibe:Jolibe 89 46
Literature
Falling: A Solitary Fool's Cries
I don’t know how to start a conversation
I don’t even talk to others in the first place
I’m just a fool who nobody wants around
Please, tell me, why am I alive, again?
Even though I try to spend time with others
I’ll end up retreating to my shell again
And I hate it, hate it, hate it
I hate this “me” so much
I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe
Just being in this world is painful
So why, why is it that
I’m such a coward who can’t take his own life?
I’m falling
Falling
Literally? Figuratively?
Even I can’t tell
My mind is hazy
I can’t tell, I can’t tell
Who are you? Who are you? Who are you?
Who the hell am I?
Ah, it’s nauseating
I want to puke, I want to let it all out
But being able to throw up in this situation
Is not a privilege that I have
That’s why, I’ll keep on falling
Falling, falling, falling, falling
In this pretense of a “good life”
Then, maybe I can get a good *****
:iconRinnacchi:Rinnacchi
:iconrinnacchi:Rinnacchi 2 2
Dark End (Coloured) by ReiyuuSama Dark End (Coloured) :iconreiyuusama:ReiyuuSama 69 23 Still Alive... by ReiyuuSama Still Alive... :iconreiyuusama:ReiyuuSama 97 26 Sketch#190 I dare you kiss me now by ReiyuuSama Sketch#190 I dare you kiss me now :iconreiyuusama:ReiyuuSama 56 13 +Errant Knight Hunter Cruiser I+ by ERA7 +Errant Knight Hunter Cruiser I+ :iconera7:ERA7 500 47 Oh look it's the salty pineapple by Jolibe Oh look it's the salty pineapple :iconjolibe:Jolibe 71 60 Casual princess Rin -OPEN COLLAB- by Daunt-Leer Casual princess Rin -OPEN COLLAB- :icondaunt-leer:Daunt-Leer 18 9 Ren by katrinalink Ren :iconkatrinalink:katrinalink 15 0 Celestial adopts -OPEN- by Daunt-Leer Celestial adopts -OPEN- :icondaunt-leer:Daunt-Leer 29 7

Critiques

by Jolibe

This is my first time writing a critique, sorry if this isn't exactly... professional? Anyways! The lineart is really nice and smooth, ...

Groups

Activity


Please,

Strip this position

Away from me.


I don’t deserve to be a member of this team.

Don’t trust me to win for you;

I won’t.

I can’t.


Stuck in stagnation

And isolated in this moving crowd once again,

This rock, or bomb, or maybe flower

Brews within me.


Even if I deny that fear and say

“I’m alright,”

It’d never be healed, this old would,

And

I

Hate

It.


Yet I can’t do anything, powerless as I am.

The poison is still dormant in the blood,

And it’d activate again, killing me

On the inside everytime.


Apologize.

Apologize?

Respond.

Respond?


Can I be forgiven

For something I didn’t do?
Can I be forgiven

For never acting correctly?

Though I’m in no position to ask this,

But

Can I be forgiven

For being useless?


Can I be Forgiven?
I cannot bring myself to play properly in a game of team sports... But why does it hit and hurt so much...?
Loading...
It’s unexplainable, this feeling.
Because of me, the whole game
Goes down in flames.

They’re yelling, frowning, and staring,
And the worst of it:
All blades point to me.

It’s not the feeling of loneliness that’s sick,
It’s the sight of everyone out in the open,
And me stuck in this field of solitude
That causes me to panic.

The pain of disappointing everyone
Renders me numb and frozen.
Screaming or bleeding
Would be embarrassing.

This.
This
Is the true face of the nauseous field effect.
Living In Disappointment
“There’s no one to blame but myself.”

Yes, another poem! :"D

This one's more direct and it points to a personal experience (team sports during gym)... The gym is very empty even with the teammates, so I imagine it as a field of flowers.

My "nauseous field" metaphor originally started out as an analogy for the fear of having one's performance judged upon (by a crowd?), but it's branched out to stress and, ultimately, sadness. (It's explored more in my Symptoms project dusk-kniade.deviantart.com/gal…)
I have forgotten what its true meaning was, but now I found it again.
(This was originally written on Wednesday, June 6th, 2018)
Loading...
Which one’s worse?
Feeling sad
Feeling stressed
Feeling nothing
Feeling like you’re wasting time

or other...?
‪Having a lack of desire to do things, even those that you’d normally enjoy, is it laziness or...something else?‬

This is just my personal opinion and you don’t have to agree. I come in peace. 


It’s hard to explain this situation. To be honest, I’ve tried a lot of times to address this problem in my poems, but they never seem to come out the right way, so I’m writing this in hopes to explain things more clearly. 


So, you know when you first listen to a song, you get that special feeling, because there was something about the song that just made this emotion bloom inside? Then you listen to it more and more and start analyzing it. The feeling, you just lose it and can’t feel it anymore. 


There’s something even worse: If you would just completely lose the feeling, and you think it’s all over, but it turns out you’ve created something new. It’s something, all right. You could feel something, but it isn’t as intense as the first time. Something like that, it’s painful, and I’ve always considered it to be a crime. It’s like killing off the feeling or even love in that song. 


Say, when an infant is born, it doesn’t know the dangers of the world, so it thinks that everything is fascinating. But as they grow up, they get loaded with stress and work, so they cannot find those beautiful things in life anymore.


Maybe I was just looking into the wrong layer, just looking at the skin on the top and not what’s on the inside: the emotions of the song. I have had this done to me countless times for songs, but to be honest, I’ve never thought that it would happen to me in visual arts as well. This is why I strive to invoke a feeling when I draw. Does it really matter if it’s a good, complicated masterpiece? I look into the complexity of it so much that I forget just why I’m drawing this. Im trying to find what makes one say “Whoa. That’s some deep stuff.”


A simple piece with an intense meaning behind it is much better than a complicated piece with nothing behind it. Is a doodle of something that’s important to the artist much better than a painting spent hours upon only to be meaningless? Yes, I think so.


To be honest, I have started pieces, and I have thought that “This will be fun to colour and finish!” but by the time I finish, I feel nothing. It wasn’t as exciting as I had thought it would be. Why is that? Similarly, when I try out a new technique, I feel like I’m losing myself and my own style.


I want to enjoy art. I want to enjoy playing the guitar. They‘re my hobbies, so if I don’t even like them, then what am I to do? I don’t want to lose this feeling. I don’t want to kill it. I don’t want to be the reason for me to not be able to feel anything. Please. I just want to feel this.


Having a lot of ideas, only to fall short when executing them, that’s not a good thing.


Anyways, I believe that is possible to keep on loving art like this if I try harder.


If we all just keep on trying, then I believe it’s possible to find a star in complete blackness.


Don’t give up.

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Dusk-Kniade's Profile Picture
Dusk-Kniade

Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
Hi! you can just call me Dusk!
I'm not all that active here, but I'll post a few times per one or two weeks?
I’m @DKniade on Twitter and dusk.kniade on Instagram!

Anyways, fandom-wise, currently I'm into Vocaloid (more like Neruke lol), so you might see doodles of those.

Aside from the fandoms, there's probably going to be some original characters of mine. You'll see mostly art and poems, and some short stories.

To sum it up
(Fandoms + Original) X (Art + Poems + Stories) = Dusk-Kniade's content

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconkewlmei:
kewlmei Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the fave! :) sorry for being so late *drops a llama badge*
Reply
:icondusk-kniade:
Dusk-Kniade Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem! ^^ Don’t worry about it
Reply
:iconlizzythemega-tron:
lizzythemega-tron Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank.you.for the.favorite! ^v^)
Reply
:icondusk-kniade:
Dusk-Kniade Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem! Keep on drawing!
Reply
:icongtmemes424:
GTMemes424 Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2018  Student General Artist
Stop making me smile with your fAVORITE SPAMS YOU BEAUTIFUL PERSON
Reply
:icondusk-kniade:
Dusk-Kniade Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
No you nEED TO SMILE (and favourite spams are my thing)
I LIKE DEM MEMES
Reply
:iconpaytonsnewheart:
paytonsnewheart Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the llama!
Reply
:icondusk-kniade:
Dusk-Kniade Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem! ^^
Reply
:iconsno7art:
SNO7ART Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
LlamaAbduction Llama Fever 2 Llama Fever 2 Llama Fever 2 LlamaAbduction  
Llama Emoji-04 (Pretty) [V1] Thank you for the llama Llama Emoji 28 (Delicious) [V2] 

LlamaAbduction Llama Fever 2 Llama Fever 2 Llama Fever 2 LlamaAbduction  
Llama brigade Llama brigade Llama brigade Llama brigade Llama brigade 
Llama brigade Llama brigade Llama brigade Llama brigade Llama brigade 
Reply
:icondusk-kniade:
Dusk-Kniade Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
YOU’RE VERY WELCOMEEE! (^◇^)
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