Strip this position
Away from me.
I don’t deserve to be a member of this team.
Don’t trust me to win for you;
Stuck in stagnation
And isolated in this moving crowd once again,
This rock, or bomb, or maybe flower
Brews within me.
Even if I deny that fear and say
It’d never be healed, this old would,
Yet I can’t do anything, powerless as I am.
The poison is still dormant in the blood,
And it’d activate again, killing me
On the inside everytime.
Can I be forgiven
For something I didn’t do?
Can I be forgiven
For never acting correctly?
Though I’m in no position to ask this,
Can I be forgiven
For being useless?
This is just my personal opinion and you don’t have to agree. I come in peace.
It’s hard to explain this situation. To be honest, I’ve tried a lot of times to address this problem in my poems, but they never seem to come out the right way, so I’m writing this in hopes to explain things more clearly.
So, you know when you first listen to a song, you get that special feeling, because there was something about the song that just made this emotion bloom inside? Then you listen to it more and more and start analyzing it. The feeling, you just lose it and can’t feel it anymore.
There’s something even worse: If you would just completely lose the feeling, and you think it’s all over, but it turns out you’ve created something new. It’s something, all right. You could feel something, but it isn’t as intense as the first time. Something like that, it’s painful, and I’ve always considered it to be a crime. It’s like killing off the feeling or even love in that song.
Say, when an infant is born, it doesn’t know the dangers of the world, so it thinks that everything is fascinating. But as they grow up, they get loaded with stress and work, so they cannot find those beautiful things in life anymore.
Maybe I was just looking into the wrong layer, just looking at the skin on the top and not what’s on the inside: the emotions of the song. I have had this done to me countless times for songs, but to be honest, I’ve never thought that it would happen to me in visual arts as well. This is why I strive to invoke a feeling when I draw. Does it really matter if it’s a good, complicated masterpiece? I look into the complexity of it so much that I forget just why I’m drawing this. Im trying to find what makes one say “Whoa. That’s some deep stuff.”
A simple piece with an intense meaning behind it is much better than a complicated piece with nothing behind it. Is a doodle of something that’s important to the artist much better than a painting spent hours upon only to be meaningless? Yes, I think so.
To be honest, I have started pieces, and I have thought that “This will be fun to colour and finish!” but by the time I finish, I feel nothing. It wasn’t as exciting as I had thought it would be. Why is that? Similarly, when I try out a new technique, I feel like I’m losing myself and my own style.
I want to enjoy art. I want to enjoy playing the guitar. They‘re my hobbies, so if I don’t even like them, then what am I to do? I don’t want to lose this feeling. I don’t want to kill it. I don’t want to be the reason for me to not be able to feel anything. Please. I just want to feel this.
Having a lot of ideas, only to fall short when executing them, that’s not a good thing.
Anyways, I believe that is possible to keep on loving art like this if I try harder.
If we all just keep on trying, then I believe it’s possible to find a star in complete blackness.
Don’t give up.
Hi! you can just call me Dusk!
I'm not all that active here, but I'll post a few times per one or two weeks?
I’m @DKniade on Twitter and dusk.kniade on Instagram!
Anyways, fandom-wise, currently I'm into Vocaloid (more like Neruke lol), so you might see doodles of those.
Aside from the fandoms, there's probably going to be some original characters of mine. You'll see mostly art and poems, and some short stories.
To sum it up
(Fandoms + Original) X (Art + Poems + Stories) = Dusk-Kniade's content